Daze of Yor (Part II)

...but that wasn't the end.

By the time Spring Break had come around, I had reached a crossroads in my life -- my second "trip out." During a trip to Santa Barbara, I had picked up some highly powerful mushrooms. Now, the only reason I considered mushrooms after my LSD experience was because I had eaten the hallucinogen before and it wasn't that intense of a high. These little power caps were a whole different story though. After about an hour or so, the high came on. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. The air had texture, music was playing that wasn't on (sounded like Led Zeppelin), and complete euphoria surrounded my body. There was a rug that I thought was an animal. The bed was playing games with me. Then I needed to be alone and think about something really quick.

As soon as I alienated myself from the others participating in this drug adventure, I freaked out. Hyper spiritual sensitivity took over again and euphoria quickly transformed into a nightmare. Dirt and darkness was crawling on the ground, working its way up my body. My friend's face had gone fat and pig-like. Everything everyone said had multiple layered meanings and the entire world seemed to be acting out the thoughts in my head. Long story short, I contemplated suicide as my only solution and by some miracle was able to call my dad and explain to him that I was strung out on hallucinogens and needed him to pick me up. He had to stay on the phone with me the entire way so that he could fill my ears with uplifting conversation so that I wouldn't kill myself. He finally got me and I was a mess. Besides hallucinating that the devil was talking to me through my father, I questioned jerking the wheel while on the freeway and vomited the most intense vomit I had ever been exposed to. My dad said it sounded like an exorcism. I made my dad drop me off right outside of my neighborhood so that I could puke more and walk the rest of the way. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't be comforted by any man, and at some point hours later, I was able to fall asleep on the couch.

Upon waking up, I was faced with a huge decision. I made the right one.

The dorms weren't the best environment for me. Besides having a nice little collection of paraphernalia pieces with humorous names like Rainbow Warrior and Bloody Mary, I was prone to getting caught for things. Thank the good Lord I wasn’t selling. I was on residence life probation before the semester had started. I got caught three times by public safety on St. Patrick's Day night. One of which, I was wearing a girl's bikini and holding a duffle bag full of beer. Needless to say, they sent me a notice, after I had talked my way out of things through meetings and letters, and said I needed to leave my Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd decorated room. What a bummer. Of course, me being as adamant as I often am, I scheduled a hearing with the residence life board and told them a tale and struck a deal. I was off campus every weekend and if I had one more violation, I was out for good. In addition, I was not allowed to consider living in the dorms for two years and was not allowed to even set foot on the dorms for a year after the completion of my freshman year. Luckily by this time, I had cooled off on the drugs. Although, I still drank. Mostly though, while all my friends were coming and going and getting wasted, I was sitting in my room reading the Good Book. It's pretty strange holding a Bible while druggies are popping their heads in and trying to persuade you to go on a journey.

Drugs were done and I turned a new leaf. Although I did mess up with partying and got in trouble at the dorms, I was doing better than before. I couldn't smoke pot for a long time because it tripped me out. Then I found a way to somewhat enjoy it. However, I've since stopped. I'll still have a couple drinks here and there but nothing like the days of yor. Although they were excessive, destructive, and painful times, it's what I needed to go through in order to get where I am today.

I hurt many people along the way and led many friends and strangers astray. It's over now. My hands are clean. What's done is done and there's no turning back. Yesterday is gone forever and we can't depend on tomorrow. Today, right now, this moment -- this is all we have and all we'll ever know.

Drugs. Huh. Good God, y’all. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.