Monday

Unlike the ominous glowing orb that rises in the east each morning with its two scoops of boulder sized raisins, I do have a choice of whether or not to get up and show my face to the world. Yes, I know, it feels like we have things we must disrupt our natural process of rest for but in reality, we don't. It's all choice: work, leisure, sex (which can be considered leisure I suppose), school, interpretive dance class, housekeeping, gardening, driving, gratuitous violence, spying, creating artificial accidents, and what have you. The only things we have to do are consume fuel and defecate. Although we can starve ourselves, sooner or later we will let loose in our pants. But rest assured, you don't "have to" clean up after yourself. But I digress.

Today is Monday and I find myself at work, wondering why in God's good name I am subjecting myself to this unholy occupation of time. My job has one hundred percent nothing to do with what I love, my dreams and ambitions, or what I ultimately want to do with my life. I don't have to go in. But then again, I don't need a cell phone, or a car, or those one point five ounce each calf implants that are guaranteed to get me laid. What a conundrum. For some reason I continually show up -- Monday after Monday. And I never fail to question my true motivation. It's simple really.

Monetary Satisfaction. Self Indulgence. Retardation.

It's my own fault. It's my inherent wanting of eternally useless material and product that direct how I experience the majority of my life and where I choose to do the majority of my daydreaming while practicing the art of escapism. Unfortunately, when I snap back to reality, it's always the same disappointment.

"But what am I doing this for?" I say.
"Money, you dolt."
"But I don't need it."
"You're right."
I vainly add, "But I want it."
"But you're not seeing the big picture."
"But what is the big picture?" I ask.
"The fact that you can't say anything without using 'but' as a preface. That's your problem."
"Not-uh."
"You're an excuse machine. You make excuses to obtain what you want rather than what you need. Your tunnel vision is blinding you. All these sentences have one common problem. You."
"But why are we fighting now?"

I rest my case.

Here's the thing -- gold will only get you so far but at the end of the road, it's a worthless piece of metal on a giant rock floating in the middle of what is mostly incomprehensibly vast empty space. Think about how matter is mostly empty space. Every "thing" you see is made of mostly nothing. I'm talking about the atomic level if critical thinking isn't your strong suit.

Everything is mostly nothing.

That's profound and that's the conclusion I come to when I'm at work. All this work is for nothing in the end. But I show up and I suffer physical pain, mental disturbance, and emotional feelings I wouldn’t feel otherwise if I were sitting my the pool, sipping mojitos while getting an oily foot rub from an illegal immigrant.

So I keep in mind that I am weak and constantly let myself succumb to the ridiculous social order that we have come to. It's rather amazing to think that out of all the possibilities for society to turn out, this is what we got. There's a reason for that. This is obviously not what we wanted. It's what we needed.

We need everything made up of mostly nothing because if we had been given nothing, we would have everything and crave nothing, and life just wouldn't be as fun.